The more I observe relationships around me, the more I realize how far we have strayed from God’s divine order. Modern relationships often lack clear direction, commitment, and the biblical foundation necessary to endure life’s trials. However, Scripture provides a clear blueprint for how relationships, particularly romantic ones, are meant to reflect His love, structure, and purpose.

Dating to Marry: The Importance of Intentionality

The world often treats dating as a casual pastime, but biblically, dating should be intentional and purposeful. Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” This verse underscores the significance of seeking a spouse with marriage in mind. A man should not date simply for entertainment, emotional fulfillment, or personal validation—his pursuit should be directed toward marriage, with prayerful discernment and wisdom guiding his choices.
Unlike the culture’s approach to dating, where relationships frequently lack direction and commitment, biblical courtship demands responsibility. A man who is serious about marriage will look beyond physical attraction and fleeting emotions—he will seek a partner who shares his faith, values, and life mission. He will also respect her time and emotions by making his intentions clear early in the relationship.

The Priority Shift: A Man Preparing for Marriage

Once a man has decided that he is ready for marriage, his priorities must align with God’s order. Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” God must remain at the center, guiding all decisions. The biblical order of prioritization for a man preparing to marry is as follows:

  • God – Above all else, a man must place God first. Without a firm foundation in Christ, he will struggle to lead his future family in faith. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”
  • Wife – Genesis 2:24 makes it clear that marriage creates a new family unit: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” A man’s wife should be his second priority after God, taking precedence over parents, friends, and career ambitions.
  • Children – A father’s role is critical, but his love for his wife should set the tone for the household. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Children thrive when they see their parents loving each other in a Christlike manner.
  • Parents – Honoring parents is biblical (Exodus 20:12), but once married, a man’s primary responsibility shifts to his wife and children. His parents should no longer hold primary authority over his household.
  • Siblings and Friends – While friendships are important, they must not take precedence over marriage. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” A wise husband chooses relationships that support and strengthen his marriage.

The Role of a Husband and Father

A husband’s role is not simply to provide but to love and lead sacrificially. Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” This is a high standard—Christ’s love for the church was selfless, unwavering, and sacrificial. A husband is called to that same level of commitment, even when it is difficult.

Loving one’s wife sacrificially means putting her needs before personal desires, being patient and understanding, and leading the family spiritually. A husband must make sacrifices for the well-being of his wife, whether that means adjusting career goals, being present emotionally, or resolving conflicts with humility.

For example, if a husband receives a lucrative job offer in another city but his wife is deeply connected to their current community, he must consider how the move will impact her emotionally and spiritually. Instead of making the decision alone, he should discuss it with her, pray about it, and make a choice that prioritizes their family’s well-being over personal ambition.

Another example is in day-to-day interactions. If his wife is feeling overwhelmed with household tasks, a husband should not assume that because he works outside the home, he is exempt from contributing. Loving sacrificially means stepping in to help, whether that’s doing the dishes, taking care of the children, or simply offering emotional support after a long day.

In moments of conflict, sacrificing pride is another way to love. Instead of insisting on being right, a husband should practice patience and humility, listening to his wife’s concerns and seeking reconciliation instead of escalating the argument. Ephesians 4:2 reminds us, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Moreover, a man’s love for his wife is the greatest gift he can give his children. Proverbs 20:7 states, “The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!” When a father models faithfulness and love, his children grow up with a biblical understanding of marriage and relationships.

What to Do When the Relationship is Threatened

Every relationship will face trials—whether it be financial stress, miscommunication, external interference, or even temptation. However, Mark 10:9 reminds us, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” If you're dating to marry, it is important to know that marriage is a covenant, not a contract that can be easily broken.

Turn to Scripture for guidance:

If faced with temptation, he must remember 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Setting clear boundaries and maintaining accountability are essential.

If conflict arises, James 1:19 teaches, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Communication, prayer, and seeking wise counsel can prevent disputes from escalating.

If outside influences (family, friends, or career) threaten the relationship, Genesis 2:24 reiterates that a man must prioritize his wife above all other earthly relationships. Setting strong clear boundaries and ensuring that his wife feels secure is crucial.

I never thought I’d have to write about this, but I see too many relationships fail because they do not align with God’s design. Marriage is not a fleeting commitment—it is a lifelong covenant meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church. A committed relationship is not built on emotions or convenience but on sacrifice, obedience, and unwavering devotion.

A man who follows God’s order will honor his wife, love his children, and leave a legacy of faithfulness. A marriage that mirrors Christ’s love will withstand any storm because it is built upon the unshakable foundation of God’s Word.

So, if you’re in a relationship or preparing for marriage, ask yourself: are you building it according to God’s design? If not, it’s time to realign your priorities, because God’s way is always the best way.