Oversharing is often misunderstood as a lack of self-restraint or boundaries, but my therapist explained that it’s far more complex and deeply rooted in emotional dynamics within relationships. It’s a painful response, born out of feeling unseen, unheard, and neglected. For the person who overshares, it can feel less like a choice and more like a desperate attempt to be understood after feeling cornered by silence and indifference.

Oversharing as a Cry for Connection

My therapist said that oversharing frequently occurs when someone feels emotionally neglected. It’s not about wanting to overwhelm the other person but about seeking reassurance in the absence of meaningful connection. When attempts to share feelings are met with dismissal or indifference, the urge to overshare can grow stronger, it can be compared to shouting in order to be heard.

My therapist explained that women are often expected to carry the emotional labor, navigating complex feelings while ensuring harmony in their relationships. But when these efforts aren’t reciprocated, or when their emotions are dismissed, it creates a deep sense of seclusion. Oversharing, in these cases, becomes a survival mechanism—a way to bridge the gap and demand the care they deserve.

The Pain of Feeling Cornered

My therapist described the act of oversharing as something that often feels forced, not voluntary. It’s what happens when someone feels pushed into a corner emotionally, with no one willing to truly hear or understand them. The oversharer might feel as though they’ve tried everything else—subtle expressions, measured communication, patience—only to be ignored or misunderstood time and again.

When this happens, oversharing becomes a last resort, a way of saying, “Please see me, please understand how much I’m struggling.” But instead of relief, the act often leaves the oversharer feeling vulnerable and ashamed, as though they’ve exposed too much of themselves to someone who didn’t care enough to notice in the first place. My therapist said that this emotional aftermath is particularly excruciating, reinforcing the same feelings of abandonment that drove the oversharing in the first place. And it is.

Why Reassurance Matters

What oversharers truly want, my therapist emphasized (and I agree), isn’t attention or pity—it’s reassurance. But this reassurance must go beyond hollow words. It requires consistent actions that align with those words, actions that demonstrate care and attentiveness. My therapist explained that even SIMPLE GESTURES—a partner actively listening, validating their feelings, being consistent, or following through on promises—can make a world of difference.

When a partner is dismissive, inconsistent, or emotionally unavailable, it creates a cycle of desperation and oversharing. My therapist said that the partner’s lack of responsiveness often forces the oversharer into this painful position, making them feel as though the only way to be seen or valued is to reveal everything, no matter how vulnerable it makes them feel.

The Deeper Pain of Oversharing

My therapist also highlighted that the pain of oversharing isn’t just about embarrassment or vulnerability—it’s about the hurt of being pushed to a point where oversharing feels like the only option. It’s the anguish of knowing that your words may still fall on deaf ears, that even after baring your soul, the connection you’re desperately seeking might not materialize.

Every time someone overshares, they relive the ache of being emotionally dismissed. And when this pattern repeats—when oversharing is met with more indifference—it only deepens their sense of isolation. My therapist said this cycle is one of the most painful aspects of oversharing: the feeling that, no matter how much you reveal, it’s never enough to earn the attention and care you deserve.

What I’ve Come to Understand

Through therapy, I’ve realized that oversharing is not a weakness or a character flaw—it’s an emotional survival mechanism. It’s a way of coping with feeling unseen and unheard, especially in relationships where emotional safety is lacking. My therapist reminded me that this isn’t something to be ashamed of. Instead, it’s a sign of unmet needs—a cry for understanding, care, and love from someone who truly matters.

For relationships to heal, my therapist said, partners must learn to listen, validate, and show their love not just through words but through consistent actions. Oversharing doesn’t happen in a vacuum—it’s a response to emotional neglect. And when partners make the effort to provide emotional safety, the need to overshare naturally diminishes, replaced by a sense of connection and security that every relationship should have.

Ah, the big 3-0! As the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I couldn't help but feel the weight of the milestone I'd been sprinting towards for 15 years. Yes, folks, I've officially joined the ranks of the 30-somethings yesterday, and let me tell you, the air up here smells... well, a lot like it did the other day.

So, there I was, basking in the glow of my third decade on this planet, and it dawned on me—what exactly was all that preparation for? I mean, I've been training for this like it's the Olympics of adulthood, but here I am, and life feels suspiciously similar to when I hit the ripe age of 18. Ah, the good old days of youthful exuberance, where the biggest decision was whether to order pizza or Chinese for dinner.

But hold up, rewind to my 18th birthday—I was out there, making a difference in the world. I donated and volunteered at an orphanage; I did something good for humanity. Fast forward to 30, and I find myself wondering if my superhero cape is just lost in the laundry pile of responsibilities.

Speaking of my 30th shindig, a massive shoutout to all the legends who showed up to make my day memorable—both the old friends who've been putting up with my antics since I moved to Korea and the new ones who have bravely entered the fray. You guys are the real MVPs, and I promise I won't hold it against you if you decide to bail on my 40th. I kid, I kid!

Now that I'm officially a part of the 30 Club, I'm wondering if there's a secret handshake or a decoder ring I missed out on. Do we get a manual for navigating the intricacies of adulthood, or are we all just winging it and hoping for the best? Spoiler alert: it's definitely the latter.

But hey, here's to the next chapter, where wrinkles are laugh lines and "getting lucky" means finding a parking spot right in front of the grocery store. They say life begins at 30, and if that's true, I'm strapping in for the rollercoaster of questionable decisions, unexpected surprises, and the occasional bout of existential dread.

So, here's to being 30, fabulous, and still not entirely sure how taxes work. Cheers to the adventure that lies ahead, and may the next 30 years be as confusing, amusing, and downright ridiculous as the first three decades! Cheers! 🎉🥂

Hey there, long time no see, huh? I bet you've all been on the edge of your seats, eagerly awaiting an update on the whirlwind that is my life. Okay, maybe not.

Picture this: me, buried under a mountain of papers, desperately trying to keep my head above water. No, I didn't take up a career in origami. I'm talking about my grad school journey. The past month has been a wild rollercoaster ride through a sea of ​​deadlines and sleepless nights. I must admit, I have a soft spot for the written word and the joy of reading, but June wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

You see, I decided to go all out this semester and take on a full load of five courses. Ambitious, you say? More like borderline crazy. As luck would have it, every single deadline seemed to have a conspiracy against me, determined to overlap and make my life a beautiful chaos.

Amidst the chaos, I had a few emotional breakdowns. But fear not, for I emerged from the storm relatively unscathed. Except for that one course, I let it slide. Let's say the procrastination monster got the better of me, and I ended up with a B+. Lesson learned, my friends. Procrastination may seem like a friendly companion, but it's more like a sly trickster leading you down a treacherous path.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom! As soon as I bid farewell to my final papers, I joined a camp with my brother. Because apparently, being mentally exhausted wasn't enough—I had to physically exhaust myself too. But hey, there's always a silver lining, right? The camp allowed me to rekindle my love affair with table tennis, which had taken a temporary hiatus during my academic escapades. Ah, the sweet sound of ping-pong balls and the thrill of victory!

Now, brace yourselves for a momentous revelation—I'm in the early stages of considering my Ph.D. journey. Cue the gasps and the dramatic music! But seriously, folks, I can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and excitement when I think about the prestigious universities I'm eyeing. Are they the academic powerhouses of my dreams or the giants I'm too small to conquer? Only time will tell, and fingers crossed that I land a spot in at least one of them. Wish me luck!

There's also much more behind the scenes that I'm not quite ready to spill the beans on. But I promise, when the time is right, I'll be bursting with good news and eager to share it with you. I'm keeping my lips sealed for now, though, because, you know, I don't want to jinx it. 

That's the lowdown on my recent adventures. Life has thrown its fair share of challenges my way, but I'm still standing and ready to conquer whatever comes next. 

Until next time, stay fabulous, and let us all keep chasing our dreams!